Friday, December 31, 2010

All Right, Now WHY?

JANUSFILES2 . . . ENTRY #0150 . . . OPEN:

I was Kroger again earlier, and once again, I stopped by the bananas in the produce section. The bananas were somewhat depleted, but I noticed that among the bunches still on the display, there was more of a variety in the stickers than there were on my last visit.

There was one sticker in particular that caught my attention. It caught my attention primarily because it doesn't seem to make any sense:

"Place Sticker on Forehead. Smile."

(Please note that as usual, I am capitalizing it just as I saw it on the sticker.)

Now, could someone please tell me why anyone would want to put this sticker on their forehead? If I were to see someone sporting one of these stickers on their forehead, I would be wondering if they had been using the bananas to make a few too many banana daiquiris. Anyone have an explanation for this? Comments would be welcome.

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Stuck For An Entry

JANUSFILES2 . . . ENTRY #0149 . . . OPEN:

I was doing a little grocery shopping earlier this evening. As I walked through the produce section, I took a look at the bananas. I was paying particular attention to the bananas.

The last time I wrote about banana stickers (or more precise, what was printed on them), I noticed an abundance of stickers that simply said "Wii," which I suspect is some kind of promotion with that video game system. (Possibly the Donkey Kong game specifically?) That seemed to be the case this time as well, although I also noticed a number of stickers bearing artwork that had been designed by consumers as part of a contest.

I did find one banana bearing a fortune-ish sticker. I didn't need any bananas today, so I simply took the sticker, so I would remember what it said:

"I ♥ Lunch Boxes."

Not a bad way of reminding people that bananas are a pretty decent choice for lunch if you're deciding to brown-bag it.

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Saturday, December 25, 2010

A Working Definition . . . Maybe

JANUSFILES2 . . . ENTRY #0148 . . . OPEN:

Ever since I started The Janus Files 2, I have been trying to think of a good (and reasonably brief) definition of the topic of this blog, which is, of course, "Fortune Cookie Philosophy." I mean, the phrase is probably one of those things that I hope makes the light bulb in your head turn on immediately. You'll see the phrase and think, Okay, I get it! On the other hand, if I were to press you for a definition, It might not be so easy to verbalize.

Have I confused everyone yet? I sincerely hope not.

In any event, I have been trying to put together a definition that makes sense (or something resembling it) to me. And I think I may have something that more or less fits my view of the term. So, here we go:

Fortune Cookie Philosophy is a collection of brief words of wisdom, quotes, or advice that can easily fit on the slip of paper tucked into a fortune cookie, or similar small space.

Hmmm . . . that is coming close to my ideal definition. I think it's the best I can do at the moment. Let's call it a work in progress.

I hope all of you are having a very Merry Christmas. Or as some of my Jewish friends would say, Happy Chinese Dinner And A Movie Day.

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Linda Collection 6

JANUSFILES2 . . . ENTRY #0147 . . . OPEN:

I noticed a few days ago that it had been some time since I posted an entry concerning that big bag of fortune cookies that my friend Linda gave me many months ago. I also realized that sooner or later, those cookies are probably going to go stale, so it might be a good idea to go ahead and finish the cookies before that happens.

This time, I pulled out five fortune cookies from the bag. No particular rhyme or reason to my selection, although I did select one cookie that was crushed. In any case, here's what the fortunes said:

"A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you."*
"Accept the next proposition you hear."
"Happiness always accompanies with you."
"If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job."**
"You are kind-hearted and hospitable, cheerful and well-liked."

*This time of year, that will probably be a Christmas card.
**There are aggravations, and then there are aggravations. When people seem hellbent on causing as many as possible, I can do without them, job or not.

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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Fortune Crushing

JANUSFILES2 . . . ENTRY #146 . . . OPEN:

Recently, I stopped by Jefferson Mall. It had been some time since I had picked up some fortune cookies at Max Orient, so I decided to make a swing by the food court and get a half dozen cookies.

I put the bag of cookies in my backpack, and then quickly forgot about them. I was planning to crack them open and write about the fortunes either that day or the following day, but they were shoved . . . well, not quite to the bottom of the pack, but close enough.

I remembered that the cookies were still in my backpack today. Unearthing the bag didn't require quite the skills of Indiana Jones, but it came close.

After spending about two weeks in my backpack, I didn't have to crack open the cookies. They were more than cracked open at this point. In point of fact, they wee well on their way to being crushed. Fortunately, they hadn't been pulverized to dust just yet.

The crushed state of the cookies did make things easier when it came to extracting the fortune. All I had to do was open the wrapper -- very carefully, I might add -- and pull the fortune out from the crumbs. I then dumped the crumbs into my hand, and from there they went into my mouth.

Once I had disposed of the cookies, I had these fortunes:

"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he gives up."*
"All things come to him who goes after them."
"Love is as necessary to human beings as food and shelter."**
"Soothing your body are the name of the game today."
"The path is getting easier from here on out. Luck is helping."
"Time heals all wounds."***

*I keep seeing running into a variant of this whenever I run out of time on Jewel Quest 3.
**If that's the case, I'm practically anorexic.
***I know I've seen this quote before, but who said it?

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