Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Just Think About It

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I found another one of the Fantasm buttons a few days ago.  I think it may be my favorite of the bunch, and I've been wearing it for the past couple of days.  I mentioned that some of the buttons are on the edgy side, and this is definitely one of those:

"Klingons don't need ribbed condoms."

Think about it for a few minutes.  And please finish all drinks before you start thinking.  I will not be responsible for anything that might have to be cleaned off your monitor.

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Friday, August 31, 2012


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Several years ago, I remember picking up a number of buttons from one table at Chattacon (a convention held in Chattanooga).  This particular table was run by Fantasm, a convention that billed themselves as "the convention your mother warned you about."  (I don't think Fantasm is being held anymore.  If I'm not mistaken, they have been succeeded by another convention called Frolicon.)

The Fantasm buttons were . . . shall we say, just little edgier than most of the buttons you might find at a convention.  And for me, that was part of the attraction.  To give you an example, this one is probably the least edgy of the bunch:

"The gene pool could use some Clorox."

Just imagine what some of the others say.  Or you don't have to; I'll be writing about them sooner or later.

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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Neither Has Heinlein, For That Matter

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I came across another button a few days ago, and I've been wearing it.  I definitely need to keep this one close at hand, particularly when I have those occasional bouts of writer's block:

"So I haven't been writing lately.  Neither has Shakespeare."

Unfortunately, no one has done a double take to read this button, at least not yet.  And that's part of the fun of wearing a button like this -- the reaction someone has when they read it.

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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Soaring With Daffy

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I was in a store yesterday when I heard one of those things that just stick in your mind.  It was a quote that I found quite memorable, and definitely something that falls into what I have dubbed "fortune cookie philosophy."  I happened to overhear one of the staff saying this:

"It's hard to be a peacock when your co-worker is Daffy Duck."

I actually asked her to repeat what she had said, just so I could be completely certain that I had heard what I thought I heard.  Yes, I had heard what I thought I heard, and it was just as funny the second time.

I've heard the sentiment before, though expressed in a slightly different form:  "It's hard to soar with eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys."  But you have to admit, saying it this way is so much more memorable.

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Friday, July 13, 2012

The Power Of Imagination

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I've been wearing a button for at two or three weeks now.  I've been meaning to write about it for some time now, but it seems that every time I'm on Blogger, I completely forget about the button, even though it's on my chest.

Well, this time, that's not going to happen.  I've removed it from my shirt for the moment, and sitting on the table right next to my laptop where I can clearly see it.

This is another button that I picked up at a convention many years ago.  And I think what it says is something that just about every fan of SF would readily agree with:

"In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature."

The imagination is the power that draws us into the genre in the beginning.  What the writer's imagination has produced sparks something in us, and with some of us, urges us into harnessing that force of nature ourselves.

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Friday, July 6, 2012

Photo Fortune

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This is another fortune that I discovered while reading some different blogs today.  As with the previous entry, this particular blogger posted the photo of a fortune as part of the entry.  This fortune read:

"Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest."

I'm beginning to wonder if I will be stumbling across photos of fortunes on a regular basis now.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Random Browsing Fortune

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I was doing some random Internet browsing a short time ago, and was reading the latest entry of a blog I regularly peruse.  The blogger had posted some photos she found while cleaning out her hard drive, and one of them was a photo of a fortune from a fortune cookie.  I took it as a sign that I should share what the fortune said:

"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."

This reminds me of when I discover fortunes buried in various places in my condo, now that I think about it.

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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Sounds Right To Me

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I was on my way to the library a few days ago when I went past a church.  On its sign was a message that brought a smile to my face:

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should continue."

I really don't need to add anything else this time, do I?

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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Something Old, Something New

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Not long after April Fools Day, I decided to delve into the bag of fortune cookies -- something I haven't done for a while.  Actually, I grabbed a couple of cookies on two different days, and I just haven't written about the fortunes until now.

I have had the fortunes with me for over a week now.  Make that over two weeks, now that I think about it.  Today was the first time I haven't let myself get distracted from writing.

Once I dug the fortunes out of the dark corner into which they had retreated, I compared them to some of my previous entries.  I thought had seen one of them once before.  As it turns out, I had seen it before -- not once, but twice:

"You have a deep interest in all that is artistic."

For the record, this is my second triplicate fortune.  And as was the case with the previous encounters with this fortune, the "lucky numbers" and Chinese phrase were identical.

The other fortune was one that I had not seen before.  At least, I hadn't seen it on a fortune cookie before.  I have seen the same idea expressed elsewhere, although possibly in slightly different wording:

"Success is a journey, not a destination."

In an earlier entry, I wondered how many duplicates I would encounter while going through this bag.  Now, I'm finding myself wondering how may triplicates (or more) are still lurking in the bag.

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Sunday, April 1, 2012

Guess What Today Is?

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In case you haven't noticed it yet, today is April Fools Day. The one day where, even if I have discovered the most amazing fortune ever, I have decided not to share it with you until the following day, because I want people to believe what I'm writing.

There's a good reason I've have taken this stance. I am something of a practical joker, and I have managed to pull off more than a few spectacular jokes on this date. And I thought that this year, I might share what I thought was one of my best jokes. It was certainly one of my most successful.

This happened many, many years ago. The victim was a friend of mine who I will call Bob (because that happened to be his name). Bob was the proprietor of a comic store, and among the other things he sold were back issues of Playboy (to those over 18, of course). He was also a collector of Playboy, and I seem to remember him mentioning that he had quite a few early issues.

Well, one April 1, I went into his store, and after the usual greetings, I said, "Hey, Bob, I heard something that I though would interest you." (Keep in mind that this was several years before the Internet.)

"Oh, what's that?" he asked.

"I heard something interesting about an upcoming centerfold in Playboy. I heard that this Playmate Of The Month is a former nun, and I heard that in at least part of her layout, she's going to be wearing part of her old habit."

I must admit, I was surprised that Bob was falling for this, but I had sucked him in completely with my story. I then added, "Oh, Bob, one other thing."

"What's that?"

"April Fools."

Now I think you may understand why I choose not to post any fortunes on April 1. If I'm writing about something completely absurd, I want you to know that I'm not making it up.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Love, Dove®

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I had acquired some Dove Promises a few months ago. I'm not completely certain where, though. this was not a case of buying a bag of Promises; this was more like being given a bunch.

In any case, when I unwrapped them, I noticed that M&M/Mars was still printing messages on the inside of the foil wrappers of each chocolate. I also noticed that in the lower right corner of the message was the signature, "Love, Dove." (The Dove should be followed by the registered trademark symbol -- the R in a circle -- but my laptop doesn't have a numeric keypad that would let me type in the code for that symbol.)

I've been carrying around three of the wrappers for a couple of weeks, because I have been planning to share them here. And as the saying goes, there's no time like the present, so here they are:

"Be a little naughty with your nice."
"Find your passion."
"You're gorgeous."

Okay, maybe that last one really doesn't apply to me that well.

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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Not As Bookish As I Thought

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As I related in my last entry, I snagged a couple of additional "fortune cookies" from the bowl that one of the librarians at Bon Air made in conjunction with the Chinese New Year. As I also mentioned last time, the fortunes have been buried at the bottom of a pocket in my backpack since then. I had already extracted them from the mini-muffin cups, but at least the muffin cups would not have been crushed to crumbs if they had been buried in my backpack.

(I should also point out that being in my backpack would be an improvement over being hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch. Don't ask me how much of an improvement, though.)

When I read the first fortune, I thought that Trish (the librarian who had created the "cookies") had created fortunes related to books and reading. That did not prove to be the case when I read the subsequent fortunes. In fact, the third and final fortune that I obtained could have easily come out of a cookie that came with my shrimp lo mein:

"Your conscience will guide you in making a big decision."

All that is missing are the lottery numbers and the mini lesson in Chinese.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Book Him, Cooko!

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The Chinese New Year may have come and gone, but I've been holding on to a reminder of that event for a few weeks now. As you may remember, when I went by the Bon Air library just before the Chinese New Year, I spotted a bowl of "fortune cookies" at the circulation desk. These "cookies" were actually made from mini-muffin cups, and the fortunes were ones created by the staff.

On my next visit, I made a point of finding the branch manager, and I told her that I had thought that the "cookies" were a cute idea. She told me which librarian had thought of the idea, and said that she was the one to whom I should be addressing the feedback. And I did, which was on yet another visit.

I also picked up a couple of other "cookies" while there still some in the bowl. They've been buried at the bottom of my one of my backpack's pockets . . . probably ever since I grabbed those other "cookies." Here's what the second library fortune said:

"The Tooth Fairy will visit you before summer's end."

Not likely -- not unless I'm going to be meeting a very strange dentist by then.

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Monday, January 23, 2012


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Happy New Year! (Again.)

Today is the Chinese New Year. I have to admit, I was a little surprised when I looked at the calendar a couple of weeks ago, and saw that it was today. This may be the earliest I can remember the Chinese New Year occurring.

I'm writing this in Mall St. Matthews. About the time I walked into the mall, I began hearing this rumbling in my stomach, one that was saying quite plaintively, "FEED me, Seymour!" (Which is a little surprising, since my name isn't Seymour.) That was about the time I realized that I had not eaten very much today, and that getting something to eat might not be a bad idea. And the sooner, the better.

The mall's food court meant that I had a dozen or so different choices. And since today is the Chinese New Year, I quickly narrowed my choices to Chinese Gourmet Express.

From what I have seen, Chinese Gourmet Express is about the same as most mall food court Chinese restaurants. They have a dozen or so different selections, which are served with your choice of noodles or rice. This time, I chose the sesame chicken with noodles. (I almost always get noodles over rice.)

The food was nothing I haven't had before. It tasted great, and more importantly, it stopped that rumbling in my stomach. And of course, it also came with a fortune cookie. The fortune read as follows:

"You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music."

Okay, I suppose that does describe me somewhat.

Today is the beginning of The Year Of The Dragon. Unfortunately, this year, the closest thing I have to a dragon joke is an early Power Rangers reference in the title.

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Friday, January 13, 2012

A Fortune "Bookie"?

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The Chinese New Year comes early this year, and my local library branch is getting into the spirit of things. When I went by the Bon Air branch earlier today, there was a big bowl at the circulation desk, and a sign inviting patrons to take a fortune cookie.

I'm never one to pass up material for an entry, so I walked over to the bowl. The "fortune cookies" weren't edible. They were made from mini muffin cups that had been folded into the proper shape. And it looks as though the fortunes were printed by the library's staff. If the one I got is any indication, all of these fortunes have to do with books and reading:

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

Oh, yeah. I've definitely heard that one before, with a slight variation. And I find myself wondering what some of the other fortunes say.

Now that I think about it, wouldn't a better name for these be fortune book-ies?

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Friday, January 6, 2012

Whirl Away!

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Earlier this week, I was going by a church near my condo, and I saw the following message on their sign:

"Visualize world peace."

I have seen this sentiment expressed in a number of ways over the years. Besides that sign, I have seen it on buttons, T-shirts, and bumper stickers. I remember that at one place where I worked, a receptionist had the message on her desk. If I'm remembering correctly, it was on a paperweight. I do remember that it was readily seen by anyone walking by her desk.

But I suppose the thing that comes to mind most readily whenever I see that message is something similar that I saw on a button. It was one of dozens upon dozens of buttons that you can find for sale at any SF convention. Most of the messages will, of course, have something to do with the genre -- something like "Captain Archer, why did you just say, 'Oh, boy'?"

But in this case, the message was a somewhat snarky twist on the message above. I will admit, at first, I didn't get it, mainly because I don't think I had seen "Visualize world peace" previously. But the dealer explained it, and I quickly understood. And now, I cannot see that message without this version quickly coming to mind:

"Visualize whirled peas."

Oh, and that receptionist I mentioned? I wrote the alternate version on a sheet of paper, and when I went by her desk, I gestured to her paperweight, saying, "I've got another version of that." I showed her the paper, and she started laughing.

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Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy Birthday, Dr. Asimov

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Today is Isaac Asimov's birthday. Were he still with us, he would be 92 -- and I find it hard to believe that it has been almost 20 years since he died. I thought I would mark the occasion by listing a couple of favorite quotes of his:

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

"Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers."

I just wish I could think through my fingers as quickly as he did.

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Sunday, January 1, 2012

A Fortune-ate Beginning To The Year

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Happy New Year, everyone!

Early this morning, I decided to start 2012 by diving into the bag of fortune cookies for a little bit of inspiration. And what I got was my first duplicate of the year:

"You have a friendly heart and are well admired."

I took this as a sign that I should try again. The second time I pulled out a cookie, the fortune was something I had not yet encountered:

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

Hmmm . . . that sounds like an auspicious start for the year. Here's hoping that I'm right.

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Another Christmas Wish

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There was one other sign with a Christmas wish that has stuck in my mind. And yes, I know that Christmas was almost a week ago. If I don't mention it now, I'll probably forget about it by the time December 2012 rolls around.

This sign was in front of another school in Louisville; Assumption High School, to be precise. And like the message on Goldsmith Elementary's sign, I'm guessing that the message won't be changed until after everyone comes back to school. I'm guessing that will be this coming Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest. I liked the wording of this particular sign message, which is probably it has stuck with me:

"May love light the world at Christmas."

As with the other sign, it's probably something that should be kept in mind throughout the year, not just at Christmas.

I hope all of you have a Happy New Year.

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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Not Much Of A Difference

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With the holiday craziness finally over, I went by Mid-City Super Buffet for lunch today. I was curious to see what changes, if any, had been made since #1 Asian Buffet had closed several months ago.

In a word -- not much. As I noted when I went in to pick up one of their takeout menus, the decor looked the same. The arrangement of the booths and tables, the location of the sushi bar and buffet tables -- same places. I'm guessing that the new owners/management didn't feel the need to make any sweeping changes to the place that were not necessary.

After being shown to a booth, I shed my jacket, backpack, and helmet, and went to the buffet. My first stop at any Asian buffet is usually the sushi bar. I was a little disappointed by the sushi selection. Now, it may have been because the restaurant had not been open too long when I arrived, or it may be that the selection may be more limited at lunch, but the only choices available were various rolls -- including a very good cream cheese roll. I was hoping for some nigiri sushi, but they didn't have any at the time.

The food was your typical Asian buffet fare, including such exotic Chinese dishes as French fries. (Okay, I'm guessing that most of these places have fries because it will be something that keeps the younger kids happy.) I made several trips to the buffet, eating until I was pleasantly full. I think I found the secret to avoid that feeling of having a lump of spent uranium in your stomach -- take your time to enjoy the food. Don't be in a rush.

And of course, the meal ended with a fortune cookie. My fortune read as follows:

"Your wealth is where your friends are."

Okay, this makes it sound like my friends are picking my pocket.

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Monday, December 26, 2011

MoreThan A Pattern

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I decided to pull another couple of cookies out of the bag from GFS today. I've been on the road over the weekend visiting my family, and for whatever reason, I decided that I was in the mood for a fortune cookie.

This time, I finally pulled my first triplicate fortune from the bag. I had a feeling it would happen eventually; I was just curious as to when. On the other hand, the other cookie was a fortune I had not seen before now.

The duplicate -- excuse me, triplicate -- fortune was:

"All your hard work will soon pay off."

And the numbers and mini-Chinese lesson was the same on this one as it was on the other two bearing the fortune.

The fortune I was seeing for the first time read as follows:

"You have a friendly heart and are well admired."

This is where I want to start borrowing a line from Bugs Bunny: "He don't know me very well, do he?"

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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Wishes

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I trust all of you are having a very Merry Christmas. at the very least, I'm hoping that you're enjoying the day off.

I thought that today, I would share something I've been seeing on a sign for the past couple of weeks. The sign belongs to Goldsmith Elementary School, which is only a few blocks away from where I live. Since it's on the way to my local library branch, I usually see it at least a couple of times a day.

If I'm not too mistaken, this message was put on the sign outside the main entrance during the first week of December. At this point, I'm guessing that the message will stay there until after the beginning of the new year:

"Children need your presence more than they need your presents."

Probably a good thing to keep in mind year-round, and not just at Christmas.

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Stuck On Me

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When I got home last night, I stopped by my mailbox on the way up to my condo. For reasons unknown to me, someone had placed a refrigerator magnet on my mailbox. I had to remove it before I could open my mailbox, and after looking at it, I decided to take it with me.

The magnet was much like many of the buttons I have. It bore a short message that falls into the category of what I have dubbed "fortune-ish." And it appealed to my sense of humor:

"I can only please one person per day. Today I choose me."

As I said, that's going on my refrigerator.

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Friday, December 16, 2011

Cookie-Less Fortunes

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While I was reaching in the bag of fortune cookies a couple of days ago, I happened to notice something. I saw a couple of fortunes that weren't inside cookies.

I have no idea how how these fortunes became separated from their cookies. I'm guessing that the most likely explanation is that some of the cookies have been broken from the bag being handled at various times, and the jostling separated the fortunes from the cookie fragments. I'm not particularly in the mood to think of alternative suggestions, in any case.

I plucked the orphaned fortunes out of the bag, and thought I might as well use them in an entry of their own. And it turned out that this pair is split -- I've pulled out one fortune before, but for the other, it was the first time I've encountered it. (At least so far.)

"If you wish to, you will have an opportunity."
(This was the second time I've seen this fortune.)

"The reward of a thing done well is to have done it."

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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Double Double

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It has been a while since I pulled a fortune cookie out of the big bag I bought early this year. Last night, I pulled a cookie out of the bag. It was yet another duplicate fortune. So, I decided to try again, and pulled a second cookie out of the bag. You guessed it; it, too, was a duplicate.

I don't have the original fortunes readily at hand, so I can't compare the lottery numbers to see if they are true duplicates. But based on previous experience with this bag, it's a pretty safe bet to guess that they are. Here are the duplicate fortunes:

"Soon you will be sitting on the top of the world."
"Your future brings cheerful company and merry times."

Well, the latter does seem to be appropriate, seeing as how Christmas is just around the corner.

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