Guess What Today Is?

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In case you haven't noticed it yet, today is April Fools Day. The one day where, even if I have discovered the most amazing fortune ever, I have decided not to share it with you until the following day, because I want people to believe what I'm writing.

There's a good reason I've have taken this stance. I am something of a practical joker, and I have managed to pull off more than a few spectacular jokes on this date. And I thought that this year, I might share what I thought was one of my best jokes. It was certainly one of my most successful.

This happened many, many years ago. The victim was a friend of mine who I will call Bob (because that happened to be his name). Bob was the proprietor of a comic store, and among the other things he sold were back issues of Playboy (to those over 18, of course). He was also a collector of Playboy, and I seem to remember him mentioning that he had quite a few early issues.

Well, one April 1, I went into his store, and after the usual greetings, I said, "Hey, Bob, I heard something that I though would interest you." (Keep in mind that this was several years before the Internet.)

"Oh, what's that?" he asked.

"I heard something interesting about an upcoming centerfold in Playboy. I heard that this Playmate Of The Month is a former nun, and I heard that in at least part of her layout, she's going to be wearing part of her old habit."

I must admit, I was surprised that Bob was falling for this, but I had sucked him in completely with my story. I then added, "Oh, Bob, one other thing."

"What's that?"

"April Fools."

Now I think you may understand why I choose not to post any fortunes on April 1. If I'm writing about something completely absurd, I want you to know that I'm not making it up.

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Greetings Of The Day

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As I've mentioned before, today is not the best time for a new entry here. With half the Internet trying to pull some kind of joke on the other half, April Fools Day is never a good time to mention whatever fortune I most recently found in a fortune cookie.

If I found something completely outrageous, or incredibly funny, no one is going to believe me. One look at the date stamp, and the response is, "Yeah, right."

On the other hand, something completely run-of-the-mill is likely to be met with disbelief as well. Again, a quick glance at the date stamp (assuming that you're not fully aware of what the day is) earns a response of, "Is that the best you could do?"

So, I've decided that the best approach is to acknowledge the day, and state that I'm taking the day off from engaging in fortune cookie philosophy. Other than not posting an entry. But I do feel the urge to post something.

And since I conclude my April Fools Day entries with an observation or bit of advice on the day, here's my thought this year:

April Fools Day is the one day of the year when everyone seems to think they are Allen Funt.

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No Fortunes Today

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Even if I had eaten Chinese every day for the past week or more, I wouldn't be writing about it today. (As it happens, I haven't, so that isn't a factor for consideration. But I digress.)

If you haven't noticed, today is April Fools Day. To my way of thinking, this is far from the best day to be writing about something like fortunes. I mean, I could write the most outlandish story imaginable about an experience at a Chinese restaurant. And even if it were the absolute, complete, and unvarnished truth, someone out there would be saying, "Yeah, right. I know what today is."

On a similar note, I my last visit to a Chinese restaurant could have yielded one of the most incredibly funny fortunes that I have ever found in a fortune cookie. And again, there would be someone questioning the veracity of my entry, just by invoking today's date. Take a look at the previous entry, for instance. Would you believe it really happened that way if I posted it on April Fools Day?

On the other hand, I could write about finding the most mundane and commonplace of fortunes in a fortune cookie, and the response would be, "You couldn't come up with something better for April Fools Day?"

There's just no pleasing some people.

So, rather than trying to do either, I will simply leave you with my own observation of the day. Ponder its lesson well, Grasshopper:

Even the most sincere and serious of trusted friends may reveal a wickedly humorous streak on April Fools Day.

I hope you haven't been tricked too bad today.

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Taking Time Out

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Yes, I have material for a new entry. I've decided to save it until tomorrow, though.

Why? Just take a look at the calendar. That's right, it's April Fools Day.

I decided that if I posted a fortune today, there might be a good chance that someone would be thinking, "No, you really didn't find that in your fortune cookie!" And I can't say that I would blame you, either.

Besides, if I were going to be really serious about an April Fools Day joke here, it would take some planning. I want it to be remembered as something spectacular, not something that fell flatter than a pancake.

So, enjoy the day. And I just thought of one bit of advice that would be the perfect fortune for today:

Take everything you hear or read on April 1 with an appropriately sized grain of salt.

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