Fortune The 13th

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Last night at work, I got takeout from Oriental House. It wasn't planned; it was just one of those days when I had a number of things to do before going to work, and it turned out to be the best option. I suppose the more superstitious would say that it was a case of Friday The 13th rearing its ugly head.

Fortunately, there was enough overlap between my arrival and Hale's departure that I was able to take a couple of minutes, walk over to Oriental House, and place my order. A little while later, they brought my food over.

I wasn't particularly adventurous last night, and I ordered the lemon chicken lunch special. It was interesting to note that the lemon sauce came in a separate container this time, instead of being part of the dish as I have previously received it.

The food was great -- even if I had to eat it a bite or two at a time. And here's what the fortune said:

"Be mischievous and you will not be lonesome."

For once, a fortune that appeals to my own sense of humor.

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To Everything There Is A Fortune

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If I might paraphrase Forrest Gump just a little, fortune cookies are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.

That line has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the entry. For some reason, though, my subconscious just told me that this would be a great opening line.

I grabbed takeout from Oriental House last night for dinner. It was one of those times when it was the best option, for various reasons.

I ordered the sesame chicken lunch special this time. I found it more than a little amusing when I cracked open the fortune cookie, because here's what the fortune said:

"For everything there is a season."

Sounds more than a little familiar, doesn't it? It's part of Ecclesiastes 3:1. You might recognize it more from the song "Turn! Turn! Turn!" by The Byrds.

It's always interesting when you instantly recognize whence the fortune came.

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Just Too Damn Lazy

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Every once in a while, I'll have a customer walk in after having dinner at Oriental House, go the the lottery stand, and fill out a Powerball playslip using the numbers that were on the fortune in their fortune cookie. Usually, the most I do is point them in the direction of the lottery stand, and of course run the playslip once they have filled it out.

Last night was a different story. A guy comes in, shoves his fortune at me, and then demands that I input the numbers on the fortune manually from the lottery terminal. And this is also when I have a couple of other customers as well. And the two or three times I try to point him in the direction of the lottery stand, he says, "All you have to do is . . . " and proceed to tell me what I have to do.

Yes, I know how to manually input the numbers. But if you go to most places that sell lottery tickets, they will usually tell you that unless you're playing a quick pick, you have to fill out a playslip. It's too time-consuming for the people behind the counter to punch in the numbers for every jackass who is too damn lazy to fill out a playslip.

I probably shouldn't have done it, but I punched in the numbers -- although I would have much rather punched out this incredibly rude and inconsiderate piece of work. And when I handed him his ticket, I rather pointedly said, "That is what the playslips are for, you know."

His response? "Oh, I've never filled out a playslip."

And people wonder why I sometimes want to bring a chainsaw to work.

Yes, he did leave unscathed. No, he won't be getting away with that little stunt if he ever tries it again.

He did leave the fortune behind. I'm not sure why, other than maybe I didn't give it back to him. Here's what it said:

"When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice."

I've heard a number of variations on this one.

This jerk really pissed me off. As I said, I still have the fortune, and I think I may play those numbers myself for tomorrow's Powerball drawing. Here are those numbers:

28, 14, 35, 32, 49, PB 09.

If you play Powerball, you might want to play these numbers tomorrow night. I'm not guaranteeing that they will win, but it would satisfy my sense of justice to know that he would have to split the jackpot with who knows how many others because he was just too damn lazy to fill out his own playslip.

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Waiting For A Title

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Last night was the first time I had in a while to get something from Oriental House. For the most part, I have been bringing in something to eat -- Subway and Taco Bell have been the usual suspects. But Hale and I had enough overlap last night that I was able to walk over, place my order, and have them deliver it.

Last night, my choice was the chicken with garlic sauce lunch special. I think I was in the mood for something spicy -- and despite my requesting the mild version, I definitely got it. Still enjoyable, though.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie at the end of the meal. This time around, the fortune actually sounds like a word of ancient Chinese wisdom:

"The superior person is modest in his speech but exceeds in action."

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Could You Please Just Go Away?

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I know that Friday and Saturday nights at work are going to be a little on the insane side. It's part of the job; I accept it. But why do people seem to think that they constantly have to redefine the meaning of "insane"?

Last night at work was one of those nights. A night when the entirety of St. Matthews seemed to think that I would die of lonlieness if there wasn't a constant stream of people coming in to keep me company.

And for the record, no, that is not the case. I am not the Maytag repairman; I can handle being left alone. In fact, there are some parts of the job that I can do only when there is so one else around.

The good news is, getting dinner was not a problem. Hale and I had enough of an overlap that I was able to walk over to Oriental House before he clocked out, placed an order, and asked them to bring it over once it was ready. The bad news is, things apparently were just as crazy at Oriental House. It was almost an hour before they brought over my order. And it took me almost two hours to eat it, because no one wanted to leave me alone long enough to eat more than one or two bites at a time.

I ordered the Hong Kong Chicken lunch special last night; I think mainly because I hadn't had it in a while. It was satisfying -- whenever I was able to get more than a couple of bites in, that is.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie. Here's what the fortune said:

"Watch out for emergencies. They are your big chance."

If an emergency at work is any crazier than the norm, I have to wonder: Big chance for what?

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Open Sesame (Chicken), Close Hunger

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Last night at work was . . . relatively peaceful. Especially after the previous three days. I usually make comparisons to Arkham Asylum, but Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights went even beyond that level of insanity.

I had eaten a late lunch, and when I was finally ready to get something for dinner, I went with Oriental House. (I had already planned that, to some extent.) Of course, the tricky part is always getting the three or four minutes necessary to lock up, walk over to Oriental House, and place the order. (Yes, I could place my order by phone, but getting away for just a couple of minutes clears the head a little.) I had a couple of false starts when, just as I was placing the "be right back" sign on the door, someone else would walk up.

When I finally made it to Oriental House, I ordered the sesame chicken lunch special. No particular reason; it just sounded the best to me last night. A few minutes later, they brought it over. And much to my surprise, I managed to eat most of it while it was still fairly hot.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie at the end of the meal. This time, the fortune said this:

"Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings."

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Obviously, This Was Meant For Someone Else

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Okay, now that April Fools Day is out of the way, it's back to the fortunes. (Nuclear-powered DeLorean not required.)

I got takeout from Oriental House last night. It was one of those nights when it was really the best choice. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to wait for a quiet moment to lock up and walk over to Oriental House. I probably wouldn't have been able to get over there at all. But with the way that things were on the schedule last night, I didn't have to worry. There was a couple of hours of overlap between the time I clocked in and when Hale clocked out. So, about 30 minutes or so before it was time for Hale to leave, I had him take over the register for a few minutes, and I walked over to Oriental House. I was able to place my order, and have a little bit of a stretch before going back to the insanity.

I ordered the bourbon chicken lunch special this time. Satisfying, tasty, and perfect for a night when I wasn't feeling in an adventurous mood.

I had to chuckle more than a little when I opened the fortune cookie and read the fortune:

"You become known for your generosity."

Okay, this fortune is just so not me. Yes, I may have my moments of generosity, but this particular fortune is unlike me most of the time.

I guess the fortune cookie can't get it right all the time.

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Interesting Juxtaposition

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Yesterday was one of those days when I realized that, somewhere around 7:00 PM, I realized that I was going to need a little more in the fuel tank if I was going to make it through the rest of the night without rude complaints from my stomach. Fortunately, things weren't too crazy after rush hour was over, and I had a few minutes where I could lock up and walk next door to Oriental House to get takeout.

I went with the beef with broccoli lunch special this time. I wasn't particularly in the mood to be adventurous, and beef with broccoli seemed like just the thing. About 15 minutes later, they brought my food over.

The fortune in the fortune cookie brought a little bit of amusement. Not so much for the fortune itself, which was this:

"A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you."

The amusement came from the other side of the fortune. Like most fortune cookie fortunes, on the back side of the fortune was a word of Chinese. On this fortune, the word was zui, which means "drunk, tipsy."

Okay. does this mean that a lifetime of happiness lies ahead of me if I am drunk or tipsy?

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So When Do I Get It?

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I think I have gone through just about all of the lunch specials at Oriental House. I'm probably not going to try the Pepper Steak, ever. That sounds like it is mostly bell pepper, and I am quite certain that I have made my views clear on bell pepper on numerous occasions.. Other than that, I think the one selection I hadn't tried was the General Tso's Chicken.

Last night, I had to be at work on the early side. And as I didn't really think about it beforehand, I fell back on Oriental House for lunch. This was easier said than done. Once I decided what I wanted, it took me over 30 minutes to lock up, walk next door to Oriental House, and place my order. Every time it looked like the lot was empty (in other words, when the coast was clear), and I was walking to the door with the "Be right back" sign in hand, someone else would walk up and scuttle my plans once again. One time, I had locked one of the doors, taped the sign to the door, and was outside and just about to lock the other door when someone decided that their day wouldn't be complete without making mine just a little bit more insane.

I mean, seriously, people! Do you have something against an overworked cashier getting something to stave off the pangs of hunger?

Once I did manage to get over to Oriental House, it took all of about three minutes to place my order, pay for it, and ask them to bring it over. And I have already suggested, I ordered the General Tso's Chicken with fried rice and an egg roll. Mild on the spicy side, please.

When the guy from Oriental House brought my food over a few minutes later, I think he was glad for the break. from what I could tell, they were even busier than I was. We talked for a minute or two. I was doing what I could to stretch out his relative peace as long as I could.

The food was delicious. Not too spicy, with large chunks of chicken, carrots, and zucchini. There were also a couple of chili peppers blended with everything else. I tried to bite into one, but it was dried, and not really conducive to eating. That attempt also released an additional bit of heat into the food. Not much, but enough to make me glad that I didn't order the full strength spiciness.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie at the end. Here's what the fortune said:

"Joy comes from peace today, save the adventure till next week."

Given the sort of week I have had at work this past week, I want to know one thing. Just when am I going to get that whole "peace today" thing?

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It's The Year Of The Tiger

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It's the Year Of The Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight . . .

Okay, I'll stop with the impromptu karaoke. I couldn't resist, and let's face it, I won't have the opportunity to go with this riff again until 2022.

As you may or may have not noticed, today is the Chinese New Year. And in the Chinese zodiac, this is the year of the Tiger.

I learned one thing last night. The Chinese New Year is not a particularly good time to order takeout from a Chinese restaurant.

I learned this the hard way. I had not made any plans for dinner before getting to work, and so I went to my fallback choice of Oriental House. Besides, I remembered somewhat vaguely that this weekend was Chinese New Year, and I thought it would be somewhat appropriate to get takeout for dinner.

Well, during the time we were changing shifts, Hale told me that Oriental House was getting slammed yesterday. In fact, they were so busy at times that their parking lot was completely full, and people were parking in our parking lot.

It was somewhere around 8:00 PM before things were slow enough for me to lock up for a few minutes, and walk next door to place my order. Things were still busy for Oriental House, even if customers weren't parking in our lot any more. If the restaurant wasn't filled to capacity, it was pretty damn close. I can't remember ever seeing it that full before.

Fortunately, there wasn't much of a line at the register when I got there, so I was able to place my order somewhat quickly. And even more amazingly, they brought my order over within about 20 minutes.

I ordered the bourbon chicken lunch special last night. I also discovered that the best way to keep the sauce from being overly sweet is by adding soy sauce and hot mustard.

And here is what the fortune in my fortune cookie said:

"A kiss can beautify souls, hearts, and thoughts."

Pure coincidence that I received this particular fortune when I did, but it does seem an appropriate one for Valentine's Day.

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THERE'S The Beef!

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Last night was a really sucky night at work. There's no other way to describe it. Murphy's Law seemed to be in full force.

Just trying to get something to eat was one of the things that made the night sucky. I had not eaten much yesterday, and it seemed that the universe was conspiring against me to prevent me from getting anything else. And I was rapidly reaching the point where the lack of food was making me distinctly cranky.

Don't make me cranky. You won't like it when I'm cranky.

I think it was close to 8:30 before I managed to walk over to Oriental House to place my order. I ordered the Hunan Beef lunch special again. And this time, I made sure I specified the beef. I also had to repeat the order twice, because my my brain was so fried that I wasn't sure I had mentioned the other stuff (mild spice, no bell peppers).

Things definitely started feeling a little better once my order arrived. This time, it was the beef, and not the chicken. The food was good, and went a considerable way toward putting me in a better frame of mind.

And here's what the fortune in my fortune cookie said:

"You'll never know what you can do until you try."

Okay, I now know that I can handle a near-total meltdown at work. I think I would rather not have to repeat the experience again anytime soon.

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I Distinctly Said Beef . . .

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Dinner last night was takeout from Oriental House. My shift started a 4:00 PM, and quite frankly, they were the best option.

There were a few moments when I wasn't even sure that I would be able to get anything. Rush hour started right around 5:00, and once or twice, I was beginning to think that it was going to last right up until I closed at midnight. It wasn't quite that bad, but I still had way too many people coming in after 11:00. (The fewer people that come in after that time, the better. Call it a combination of paranoia, and a desire to start getting ready to close as soon as possible.)

It was somewhere around 8:00 PM before I could finally get a couple of minutes to lock up, walk over to Oriental House, and place my order.

I decided to try one of the few lunch specials that I hadn't tried yet. This special is listed on the menu as "Hunan Chicken Or Beef," and I think one of the reasons I hadn't tried it was because it's also listed as hot and spicy.

I already had my order in mind before I walked over to Oriental House. I told them I wanted Hunan Beef, no green peppers, mild spice. I paid, and they said that they would bring it over in a few minutes.

When they brought my order, I discovered that they didn't quite get it right. Instead of beef, I had Hunan chicken. They did get everything else right. Not too spicy, and definitely no green peppers. Next time, I will have to be certain to say that I want the beef.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie at the end. The fortune in this cookie read as follows:

"Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter."

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Just Keep Thinking That

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Monday night, I got takeout from Oriental House. This was one of those nights when the choice was planned, rather than being the fallback option. As is usually the case, there was an hour overlap in the schedule. I waited until 10 minutes or so before Hale left to walk over and place my order. I was a little surprised when they brought it over as quickly as they did.

I ordered the bourbon chicken lunch special Monday night. I like the dish, but sometimes I find that the sauce can be just a little too sweet. This was one of those times. When I mixed my fried rice with the remaining sauce, I needed some soy sauce to cut the sweetness just a little. A packet of the hot mustard that Chinese restaurants usually provide would have done the job even better, but they forgot to include one with this order.

Even with the possible over-sweetness, the food was still good. And at the end of the meal was the fortune cookie, with this fortune:

"You will lead a rich and successful life."

Yes, it would be nice if that particular fortune came true. I guess I just have to keep thinking positive thoughts while waiting for the right opportunity to come along.

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Nose Doubt

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I went to my fallback option for dinner Tuesday night. This time, it was more planned than fallback. I had eaten a late lunch, so Oriental House was my best option for dinner.

I ordered it a little earlier than I originally planned. I decided to take advantage of the overlap in the schedule between when I arrived and when Hale, my co-worker, left. On the one hand, I didn't have to try to get a few quiet minutes to lock up long enough to go place my order. On the other hand, Hale needed to leave a little early, so I couldn't place my order near the end of the overlap as I was hoping to do.

I ordered the sesame chicken lunch special. From what Hale has said, this is one of his favorites, and it is one of the first things that he orders from a Chinese restaurant. He also mentioned that he didn't particularly like Oriental House's sesame chicken. But when my food was brought over, he said that my sesame chicken smelled better than the one he had ordered. Hale suspected that there must have been two different cooks involved, and I apparently got the better one.

Maybe I'm not being as critical, but I don't think I have ever had a bad meal from Oriental House. There might have been some unwanted bell peppers once or twice, but I can always remove those.

In any event, the food was great, once I was able to get to it. And of course, there was the fortune cookie, with this fortune:

"A mile walked with a friend contains only a hundred steps."

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That's Absurd!

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Saturday night, I went over to Oriental House to get takeout. I really hadn't thought about what I wanted to eat, so Oriental House became my fallback choice.

Of course, there was a point where I wasn't certain that I would even be able to rely on my fallback. It was one of those nights. A constant stream of people that left me wondering if I would even be able to lock up just for the five minutes or so it would take for me to walk next door, place my order, and walk back. I mean, is it really that hard to be left alone for just five minutes?

Fortunately, I was able to get those five minutes, and someone walked my order over about 15 or 20 minutes after that. I ordered the chicken with garlic sauce lunch special. And while it was spicy, it wasn't fire-breathing spicy. Maybe they remembered my preferences.

And of course, there was the fortune cookie at the end, with this fortune:

"Ideas you believe are absurd ultimately lead to success!"

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Quotable Fortune

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I had eaten a somewhat sizable lunch yesterday. I still thought I was going to need just a little something else to see me through the evening at work, though. And since I was cutting it a little closer than I had planned, I decided to get takeout from Oriental House.

I almost didn't get that. As soon as I walked in the door, Emma's first words were something along the lines of "Hurry up." Not a good sign, to say the least.

I managed to make it next door to Oriental House, and I ordered the subgum chicken chow mein lunch special. As I was paying for it, I asked the lady at the register if she could bring it over, "because Emma is about to chain me to the register." She was amused by my declaration.

When I got back, I discovered why Emma was in such a rush. When our manager had made the schedule, it had Emma leaving at 5:00 PM -- and me starting at 6:00 PM. Can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture? For a number of reasons, Emma needed to clock out as quickly as possible. As in RIGHT NOW.

The food came a few minutes after Emma left as though the hounds of Hell were on her heels. Other than the especially rushed turnover, the evening wasn't too bad. The food was good. And here is what the fortune inside my fortune cookie said:

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted."

The line seemed familiar, so I turned to Google. The quote is from Aesop -- the moral to his fable "The Lion And The Mouse."

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Quick Fallback

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Yesterday was, as they say, one of those days. Problems with my laptop made a mess out of most of my plans for the afternoon. It was one of those times when I really didn't want to spend too much time trying to decide what I wanted to have for lunch at work.

So, I went with the fallback option -- getting something from Oriental House. This time, it was the Hong Kong chicken lunch special. I wasn't in the mood to try something different, and the Hong Kong chicken is familiar enough to be a good choice.

I was wondering this time if the fortune in the fortune cookie would have something to say in regards to my computer problems. Not really, as it turned out. Here's what it said:

"To hear, you must listen with your ears, and not your eyes."

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Okay, But It Still Tastes Good

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Chop suey is not authentically Chinese.

To the best of my knowledge, I was 11 or 12 the first time I read that little bit of information. It was mentioned in a book titled The Year Of The Jeep. The book also mentioned that chop suey was created in America by Chinese immigrants, but that was probably the extent of the information given on the subject. (It was more an incidental bit of information than anything else.)

I've been reading about chop suey more recently in Jennifer 8. Lee's book The Fortune Cookie Chronicles, and on Wikipedia's entry on the subject. Ms. Lee's book tells quite a few interesting stories about chop suey and its origins, but the only thing that can be said with any certainty is . . . that chop suey is not authentically Chinese, and that it was created in America by Chinese immigrants.

For one reason or another, I don't think I had ever had chop suey until last night. After taking a break from eating Chinese takeout at work for a few weeks, I was in the mood for it again. And the schedule had me coming in early enough that Oriental House was my best option. As I looked over the takeout menu, I glanced at the chop suey section, and said to myself, "Why not?"

I went with the beef chop suey -- or as it was listed on the menu, "sirloin of beef." When my order was brought out, it smelled wonderful.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to eat it for a couple of hours. Surprisingly, it was still somewhat warm once I did get a chance to eat.

And the food tasted as good as it smelled when it was brought to me. Strips of beef cooked together with a variety of vegetables in brown sauce. Those included mushrooms (nice big chunks!), sliced water chestnuts, bean sprouts, celery, and cabbage. It was served with white rice.

I made one slight mistake this time. I ate too much of the rice first, and as a result, there wasn't enough to mix with the leftover sauce once I was finished. I won't make that mistake again.

And of course, I had a fortune cookie with my meal, with the following fortune:

"Silence is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it."

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Taking Things Easy (Or At Least Easier)

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Last night's dinner was takeout from Oriental House. More than anything else, it was the easiest choice to make.

I had a feeling that things were going to be just a little crazy at work yesterday. And guess what -- I was right! I had just about enough time to walk next door, place my order, and pay for my food. They brought my order over about 15 to 20 minutes later.

Surprisingly enough, I had time to eat at something resembling a normal meal. Things were relatively quiet when my order arrived, and I was able to eat several bites in between customers. More importantly, I didn't have any of the jerks who seem to find it funny to keep me from eating more than one bite at a time.

I went with the Hong Kong chicken. No particular reason, other than maybe I like the way the remaining sauce mixes with the rice. And of course, the meal ended with a fortune cookie, with this fortune inside:

"Teach only love for that is what you are."

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Taking The Lo (Mein) Road

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As I mentioned in my last entry, I decided to go for a bit of a change for dinner at work. Sandwiches, mostly -- Penn Station and Subway. But for Saturday night, I decided to stick to Oriental House.

As I have mentioned in at least one entry, one of my usual default orders is shrimp lo mein. Part of my logic in ordering that is that it's something relatively simple, and if a restaurant screws that up, I probably don't want to be wasting my time trying anything else they might have.

I finally got around to ordering shrimp lo mein from Oriental House on Saturday night. I was expecting it to be good. It was something of a reverse of my usual logic -- I already know that they serve good food, so they shouldn't be screwing up something this simple.

And they didn't. Lots of shrimp (I think they were medium size), vegetables, and plenty of noodles. A satisfying dinner, to say the least. And I didn't realize it when I placed the order, but I was getting what most Chinese restaurants sell as the large portion. Most of the time, I order the smaller size.

And of course, let's not forget the fortune cookie, and its fortune:

"Think about your own mistakes rather than blame on other's faults."

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